If people are not afraid of death How can death be used to threaten them
These opening lines remind me of the story of the monk who was threatened by a marauding soldier with a sword. When the monk sat there calmly, the solder yelled, “Aren’t you afraid? Don’t you know I can run you through with this sword without blinking an eye?”
The monk replied, “Don’t you know I can be run through with your sword without blinking an eye?” At the point, so the story goes, the soldier released his sword and dropped to his knees, begging to be the monk’s disciple.
The chapter goes on to say that if people are afraid of death, they act out of fear. To put it another way, they are no longer in alignment with the natural flow of energy in the universe. They are no longer acting in harmony with all of creation. Acts of fear are often attempts to control our circumstances or other people. They are often met with resistance as fearful people vie for the upper hand, the classic power struggle.
The chapter finishes by observing that those with the upper hand then use their power to force others into compliance. This is not the way of nature. It is like trying to usurp nature’s power, or, to put it in other terms, it is like playing God.
And, as many of us have learned in our lives, such attempts often backfire, bringing more harm than good to all concerned.
Whenever I find myself in an anxious or fearful state, my first impulse is to try to control something or someone in order to relieve my own distress. I can usually find some justification, for example, thinking that circumstances or someone left me no choice. I can usually find some pure motivation, for example, thinking that I am improving the situation or helping someone. But really, if I’m honest, I’m trying to make myself feel better or safer or happier.
And how does that work for me? Hmm, usually not so great because I’m basing my sense of well being on things I can’t really control, like circumstances and other people. So even if I get relief in the immediate situation, the underlying impermanence of, well, everything, leaves me on some level still unsettled.
What if, instead, I addressed the underlying root of all my unease – fear. What if I made my peace with the fluid movement of all creation, always changing, always manifesting and returning in cyclic rhythm. What if I found this natural energy wondrously magnificent instead of scary and threatening. What if I allowed it to move freely in me and through me, and gave up the exhausting and futile quest to be in charge of everything and everyone.
Might be worth exploring....
A moment of Radical Acceptance is a moment of genuine freedom. ~Tara Brach
PS -- As an example, I continue to struggle with the new Blogger interface. I just spent 20 minutes trying to get things spaced the way I wanted. Hmm, perhaps I need to practice some radical acceptance....
This is really perfect timing. Thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteI've been struggling last week, with admin at my doctor's office, and the property manager here, and their lack of care when they make mistakes that negatively affect my experience. I'm trying to get important tests scheduled and a working refrigerator and that overlapped, which was just frustrating. It felt like I was engaged in 'fighting', which I don't enjoy. I guess the key words are 'trying to get'. That's what has felt frustrating.
After reading this post, and feeling the energy in the message, I spent some time writing in my journal about my base fears in both situations. That was helpful. When I take that away, there is peace. And I am reminded to continue practicing unfolding. That is, I explained to both what I need, and now it's for me to trust that it will happen. And while 'waiting' instead of letting that take my attention, I can put my energy toward the enjoyable things in each day, connecting, creating, being. I'm amazed at how perfect the timing of this is. Thank you, again!
I still read all of your posts, but I am sure it's been a long while since I've commented. Since before my transplant last year, when I deleted my blog for a clean slate.
Ha! Another tech glitch to test my practice -- I just wrote a long reply to you and it disappeared before I could publish it. Okay again...
DeleteJoy, it was so very nice to hear from you. And I'm so honored to be able to give back to you just a little wisdom of all that I've learned from you over the years.
You have been a warrior of heart and spirit through some extremely challenging times. Just as you usually read my blog posts without commenting, I often read your FB posts the same way. I am always glad to hear of your good health reports, and I understand your frustration and dismay when obstacles that seem so unnecessary are put in your path.
I'm so grateful that this post came to you in a timely way. Straight from the universe to you -- I'm just the conduit. Sending you lots of light and love.
The new blogger has me needing to embrace some radical acceptance, too, Galen. In the latest post, my link to a website didn't work. I tried to fix it after comments let me know there was something wrong. Still don't know if it worked or not, but will check it later. So frustrating, yes, but I simply need to let it go.
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
I feel your pain, Martha! I'm so particular about how my post "looks." When the alignment and spacing weren't working right, I kept fooling with it even though the words were all there and easily readable. Lots of deep breathing and releasing! Thanks for commenting. I haven't been online much in the last couple of weeks. I need to come over to your blog and catch up. Will do that soon!
DeleteThis was a great read. I can always relate it to feelings that I have about life. We do have our agency to choose; it's one of God's greatest gifts. With that agency and our faith in God and Jesus Christ; we can learn to do God's will in our life. This means letting go of what we think is best for us. Aligning our will with his. I can't say that is easy and I can't say I am perfect at it, but as I focus my life in Christ and use the spirit to guide me; I am finding incredible peace in knowing that God's will for me is perfect.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs your way!
I love that word alignment, LeAnn. So much of what the Tao Te Ching is about concerns our alignment. I also learn so much about alignment from martial arts practice. You describe the concept perfectly. When we aligned, there is a sense of ease, of effortlessness. We are not struggling against the current but rather flowing with it. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteI too always read your posts, and sometimes I save them in my inbox (like this one) until I feel I have the time to truly "grok" your post. It's been a stressful time in the life of our country and the world in general, but I am beginning to feel hopeful that after a realignment, we will come out the other side into a new world. I am just glad I have people like you in my life.
ReplyDeleteI remember that word "grok" and the book it came from! I love your image of realigning and coming out in a new world. (Alignment is one of my favorite words these days.) Cycles are part of nature. We'll see what happens with this one. I'm glad you are in my life too, DJan! Thanks for commenting.
DeleteHi Galen, I often reflect upon whether or not I'm afraid of death and I just can't decide! I like to think if it suddenly presented itself to me I would surrender to it - but who really knows when that moment comes, or even if you have time to decide how you feel? I do think if you are balanced within yourself most of the time, you are less phased by things going beyond your control, and i'm certainly better at responding to fear-filled or anxious moments with more flexibility now and it can feel wonderfully liberating. But I can so relate to what you say here: ''So even if I get relief in the immediate situation, the underlying impermanence of, well, everything, leaves me on some level still unsettled.'' Yes!! I feel this too when some problem has been solved - it's just a temporary satisfaction because there is this massive space somewhere where so much in it is unknown and always in a state of flux. There will always be another problem, another conflict, so being in the moment and going with the flow has got to be the most naturally healthy way of being. Thank you for another thought provoking post!
ReplyDeleteLike you, I think I have accepted the truth of my own mortal impermanence, at least in theory. But as you said, when confronted with the truth of it in reality, how will I respond?
DeleteThe crazier this year gets, the more I'm contemplating how to release the usual mindset and look more deeply. How do I stay in alignment? How do I trust, really trust, the universe to unfold according to its own wisdom? It seems like there are almost daily challenges to teach me. Added to the pandemic and the protests, my corner of the world is now dealing with massive wildfires. Is this universe's intensive advanced course in how to live? We struggle on so many fronts until we are just exhausted and give up. Then we begin to learn -- is that it? Thanks for your comment.
Hard times, Galen! I can see how you are feeling we need to look more deeply as we struggle more. Just now, I was seeing a news report of how bad it is in your area,so for me in this moment, I wanted to know if you are alright where you happen to be? There is so much devastation and personal suffering/loss it beggars belief. What next? Sending you love from here in the scottish borders. XX
DeleteThanks, Lynne. Yes, my family and I are safe, although pretty much confined inside because of the smoke. However, we are lucky. I have friends who have had to evacuate their homes. People have died. Towns have burned to the ground. I just wrote a new post about it. The fact that I have the time to sit and write a new post in the slightly smoky comfort of my home tells you I am fine. Thanks for the love from across the pond. Much appreciated. Truly.
Delete'Whenever I find myself in an anxious or fearful state, my first impulse is to try to control something or someone in order to relieve my own distress'.......'What if, instead, I addressed the underlying root of all my unease – fear.'
ReplyDeleteGood post ... The underlying root of all our unease is fear. And, fear causes us to want to control outcome. Very powerful. This unease may also be the root of disease. So it can be said that fear causes some disease...
thought provoking ...
Thanks, Brian. I had an opportunity just this last week to practice this. Family often gives us our most challenging opportunities! I spent a lot of time sitting with my discomfort, exploring how it felt, and watching what it urged me to do, and watching my own urge to comply with fear's dictates. When I would refrain from reaction, there would be an initial rise in distress, but then it would subside into equanimity. So maybe we just need to wait long enough for the fear to release its hold.
DeleteGood observation Galen,
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started meditation I watching breath. Later I experienced the ability to watch thoughts come and go , then I experienced observing emotions as they rose and fell. Lately I am experiencing observing pain and discomfort in the body. This ability to be the observer of the body and mind from a stillness vantage point without attachment or judgement is the most amazing experience. Is this observer linked to the true Self which is the image steaming from what we call God?
My first thought in reading your comment was "who is the observer?" When we seek the observer, who is seeking? Who is that "I"? Notice "I" said "my" first thought. So I'm not suggesting that there is no identity by which we experience these things. But it does invite us to be curious about this identity, to take that ability to watch the things you mention and to turn it to watching the watching. Just for fun! Thanks for commenting Brian. Always good to hear from you.
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