A few nights ago, my grandson called me. He was crying so hard I could not understand the words he was gasping through his sobs. I thought something horrible had happened. Trying to stay calm, I asked him to tell me again what happened.
“Mom...put...lettuce...on...my...taco,” he wailed.
Um, really?
My anxiety melted into relief, and okay, maybe a bit of chagrin at what I saw as an over the top reaction.
“I...just...wanted...to...talk...to...someone...who...cares.”
Bam, and there you have it. It wasn’t really about the lettuce at all. Of course his mother loves him very much, but at that moment she was the perpetrator of the taco debacle, so he sought solace from someone he thought he could count on to care. He wanted what we all want, to be heard and to feel unconditionally loved.
How thankful I was that I had not spoken the teasing remark that had been on the tip of my tongue. Instead, I offered a listening heart with an abundance of compassion poured out over his hurting soul. Satisfied, he calmed down and we said our goodbyes. I don’t know what happened with the taco, but he had been fed with what really mattered.
A Course in Miracles teaches that everything we do or think or say, everything, is either an expression of love or a call for love. Only two possibilities. So simple. How would our lives be different if we saw everything through this lens? Love – given, asked for, received. An eternal exchange of an infinite commodity. Like breathing. Inhaling and exhaling endless compassion.
If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~Mother Teresa
Oh, my goodness, Galen, what a touching and meaningful story you have shared here! Every child (and every adult) needs someone who will listen and love without judgment. It's what Jesus did while on earth, and we should strive to emulate the same. Give your precious grandson a hug from me!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Will do, Martha. Thanks.
DeleteI enjoyed hearing how your grandson reached out to you, Galen. It's truly a privilege to be a grandparent! "Everything we do or think or say is either an expression of love or a call for love." That really does sum life up in simple, yet complex way. Thanks Galen!
ReplyDeleteYep. Grandchildren are the award we get for going through all the challenges of having kids.
DeleteAnd yes, that teaching about everything being an expression of or a call for love does make it all very simple. And it helps us not judge but rather offer compassion. Thanks for commenting, Pam.
I love this, Galen!
ReplyDeleteTook me back fifteen years to when my son would complain to my Mom about how a corner of his sandwich didn't have jam on it - and of course I was the culprit. My Mom would lovingly listen and look shocked even as she tried her best not to smile. Then the two of them would hold hands, come to me and Mom would tell me please be careful, etc. etc. as we watched the tears in my son's eyes retract and a look of happiness dawn-the joy of satisfaction of a problem resolved. Of course later, Mom and I would have a good laugh but it was the way she handled it. My first instinct would have been to say oh, come on. But I learned the bigger lesson from Mom about compassionate listening. She also lectured him about how it was quite okay to miss a spot while applying the jam...and he agreed. So funny. Thank you for this lovely post!
What a great story, Vidya. I'm thinking this whole taco/sandwich/food thing is a global theme with kids.
DeleteOne of my favorite stories is about a kid in a restaurant who ordered a hot dog and a soda. His parents contradicted him and told the server to bring him some milk and a chicken dish. The server looked back at the boy and asked him what he wanted on his hot dog. When the server left the table, the boy exclaimed, "Did you see that? She thinks I'm real!"
Thanks for commenting, Vidya. Always good to hear from you.
That hot dog story- I still feel that way sometimes... at least, I think I did, it's been a while since I've seen a waitress...
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. And yes, I love that story every time I think of it. Thanks, CW.
DeleteThis is such a lovely post and an important thought. I the story of your sweet grandson. Grandchildren are the best and they do like to receive that reassuring love from us as grandparents.
ReplyDeleteI loved the last paragraph that taught such truth.
Blessings and hugs!
Thanks LeAnn. I know you have LOTS of grandchildren to love!
DeleteI am glad that he has a grandmom like you, Galen. And it is sometimes easy to throw out a little dig, but you didn't and now everybody is much the wiser. And happier. Even me, when all I did was read it and smile. Love the comments, too.
ReplyDeleteHe is my best teacher, DJan. My little 9 year old wisdom master. Ha!
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