Tao Te Ching – Chapter 78

Under heaven nothing is more soft and yielding than water

Yet nothing is better for overcoming what is hard and stiff

As we approach the end of the Tao Te Ching’s 81 chapters, the text returns to the theme of water. Water is the most common metaphor for the energy of Tao. It flows naturally, humbly seeking the lowest level of the vast sea of unity. You cannot push it or grasp it. It yields to force, yet its power cannot be denied. It follows its own nature, moving effortlessly through its cycles of manifesting and returning, unconcerned with obstacles, sustaining and nurturing all life. 

Everyone knows this

But few can practice it

So if we all know this, that our best model for living is the nature of water, then why is it so hard to practice? In martial arts, one of the hardest things for me to learn has been to yield, to allow my partner to defeat himself with his own use of force. As the chapter says, I understand the principle of yielding to overcome, and yet in the moment, my instinct is to attack, to try to overpower. How well do you think that works for an old ninja granny? Even if I were a buff young martial arts master, there would always be someone stronger, more skilled in using force than I am.  

We can see how this instinct arises in all kinds of situations, not just martial arts. Think of all the times during the day when we experience the urge to control, to manipulate, to react, to coerce. As I sit here writing, I don’t have to look back very far to remember a moment of judgment, irritation, frustration, disappointment. And within all these moments is the desire for things to be different, the desire to make them different. 

What is it, then, driving that urge to use force, even when we know that it is not advantageous? Fear. Fear is what takes hold of us and leads us to abandon our greatest strength. Fear might be disguised as anger, righteous indignation, anxiety, duty, allegiance to a cause. Whatever its appearance, fear tells us to fix something outside of ourselves to feel better inside ourselves. 

Practicing the wisdom of this chapter asks us to breathe into the discomfort, to tolerate the distress, to be still when fear is telling us to react. To soften our hearts and yield in patience until our way is made clear to respond with integrity and compassion. To ask ourselves, “What would water do?” 

Be water, my friend. ~Bruce Lee